I can pretty much put down most of the stress, angst and mental health issues down to caring too much about situations that will either never happen or in the grand scheme of things don’t really matter. I’m good at rationalising that serious issues that come up around money, my career or my health but it’s the little things that I shouldn’t care allow myself to get so worked up over that keep me awake at night.
Here’s what I have done to stop giving a f**k allow me to free up my energy to focus on the things that do matter.
1. Realising that I am the only one in control of my life
Nobody else is going to rid you of your fears, negative thoughts and worries. Be it your partner or your family or friends, as much as they are there for you they can reassure you and comfort you they aren’t going to fix your life or take away your insecurities. The only person who can do that is you. Even if you seek medical help or therapy it is yourself who has to take control of this. You control the negative thoughts and you also control the positive.
2. Understanding why you give a f**k
If something’s bothering you write it down on a piece of paper or in iPhone notes and then ask myself why? Why do you care so much about this to the point it’s invading your brain at every opportunity and filling my stomach with nausea and dread. 9 times out 10 the answer is nowhere near as bad as you thought it was going to be and I feel a million percent better. It sounds counterproductive as I am basically saying focus on the problem but writing things down or even talking to someone about it takes it out of your brain and allows you to do exactly that and gives attention to that worry instead of letting it fly around with a million other thoughts in your head.
3. Realising that no one else gives a f**k (about you anyway)
This one is super simple and maybe for some hard to take but excluding loved ones no one else is really thinking about you. Everybody is so caught up in their own life that they don’t have time to be worrying about anything other than themselves. If you’re worried someone is thinking badly of you just ask yourself how many times do you think badly of other people? I doubt very much, and it’s a hard pill to swallow but most of us are really only thinking of ourselves. I reiterate as the above sounds very conceited that this excludes loved ones, family, friends, partners etc…
4. Stop yourself..
When you feel yourself getting worked up over something that isn’t going to directly effect your life stop yourself, shut it down there and then and tell yourself it doesn’t matter. Say it out loud or say it in your head. This is a habit I have spent a long time trying to master but I’ve pretty much got it down now and I’ve noticed it makes a huge difference to how much stress I have in my life.
5. Ask yourself what can you actually do about it?
This one is simple! ask yourself what can you really do about what your worrying about? If it’s already happened you made a fool of yourself, said something stupid or made a bad decision, can you take it back? Can you change what happened? If you’ve upset someone apologise or if you can do something about it do! But if you cannot do anything then there really is no point in thinking about it. Do no waste time dwelling on things that are in the past and have no control over changing.
6. Let it go
Lastly just let it go, whether you write it down, spend 10 minutes ranting about it, go and buy a new outfit, change your hair or feast on your favourite food to feel better do it and then let it go. But promise yourself that if the same thought comes back or if it’s the same problem but with a different scenario remind yourself to just let it go.
In life it’s not possible to live without caring about certain things but just stopping and taking stock of what matter and what don’t matter free up space to be happier and just feeling better. I hope some of the points above were helpful and I’d love to hear if there’s anything you do to banish unnecessary worries and stresses from your life, please comment below!
Thanks for reading!