Things not to say…. Lesbian Addition

This blogs a little bit different today, away from the usual chronic illness and mental health life chat and just a bit of fun. I’m sure any any of my fellow babes out there who are on the girl team have heard at least one of these before. I do not understand why some people do not just think before they speak… My wife and I definitely have a good laugh when people do say some of the below and it’s not taken too much too heart but can be a little bit annoying when people ask personal questions.

Who is the man in the relationship? 

Neither of us and that’s the point, its like having 2 forks and asking which one is a knife. If you’re asking which one of us is more masculine again we’re both feminine because we are female. We don’t need or want a man in our relationship.

I know this girl from school / work etc (insert name) she’s gay do you know her?

9 times out of 10 I probably do not, I am a hermit crab with all types of people I do not discriminate we don’t have a lesbian club where we all hang out together.

How do you have sex?

Well how do you have sex? This question is both private and intrusive not something you’d ask a straight person so please don’t, get on google and search its not rocket science and for me personally its none of your business.

Is there any guy you would sleep with? (Insert Ryan Gosling, Channing Tatum other hot famous guy)

Do they have a penis? Well then no….. No thank you, thank you next.

You don’t look like a lesbian you’re too pretty? 

Thank you for both stereotyping and insulting me at the same time. I do kind of get it, I like to dress feminine and wear a lot of make up and I have long hair but so do a lot of gay girls that I know, do I need to get divorced and turn straight because I like to make myself feel good with pretty things? I mean how would they feel if I said to a straight person you don’t look straight? What are lesbians supposed to look like? So many questions and not a single one I actually care about.

You just haven’t met the right man… 

Wow again as I type the actual comments that people have said to me I am still shook to the core to this day. Its definitely it I am married to my soulmate who is female and its all because the right man hasn’t come my way. I will be sure to keep a look out for him. I’m sure the right person is out there for everyone but declaring that I have not met them and they are the opposite sex to what I am attracted to is a little insulting considering I am married.

What do you do if something breaks in the house/who fixes things? 

We fix it and probably a lot quicker too because we’re awesome like that. Toilets, light bulbs, sinks, boilers, we build beds, wardrobes, cabinets and have carried said new furniture up 4 flights of stairs. I am proud to say I do not need a man for anything in my life, I don’t dislike men in anyway I actually get on well with them but they don’t need to come in and help me.

I think I’m going to become a lesbian because (insert name) broke my heart and I’m done with men. 

That is totally fine if you have a genuine attraction to other women but please do not use us to get your ex out of your system, move into our house, buy a cat and then fall for the first guy who looks at you in a bar and never speak of us again.

This blog is obviously just a bit of fun and in no way meant to offend anybody, these are just some of the things that have been said to me 🙂

Thanks for reading!

A x

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